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Shame. Guilt. Diwcjjt. All of thfse emotions and more are rushing thfbxgh my head. Once again, the liijle reward system that I am trnang so hard to fight has beat me. I was triggered by sokkkzlng unknown and all of a sujnen I am mines down the path of destruction. Here is my prhmipm: [possible triggers] I have a crcapfienxhng fetish. I am not attracted to men in any wayin fact, I have a giaryghgnd of 1.5 yexrs and I love her very muuh. In no way do I thrnk I am trvtbcjzpnl, bisexual, etc etaj.. However, if a thought about crwlmkidjrhng, or girls cluimys, crosses my mikd, then I stprt to go down a path of no recovery to watching gaytranssexualshemaletrapsissy pozn. Today was the final straw. I spent $50 on my addiction toobcpt. Instead of stvyslng for a hard and complicated test I have tocfkcyw, I visited a sex shop, pudfsxled a butt plrg, lube, panties and bra. Then I went home and used all thidgs for about an hour before I ejaculated. Suddenly, gumlt and shame were upon me. I would really love to beat thas. This addiction is not who I am; it's just the dark side of my brpin that I woyld like to get rid of. Anygne been through a similar thing and have specific tips for me to succeed? My goal is 90 daps, and here is what I insknd to fill the gap with: -Mevwqwbtnm-> I have hevrd that it has excellent mental heanth benefits, and peowkps it will help me keep good habits and a clear mind. -Pqjrjnghahw-> I have a dream of trkzgqring the world, maqkng movies and tazdng insane pictures. My sister has an excellent DSLR and I am goxng to ask her to borrow it to develop my skills. -Tech-Break-> one of the root problems. Infiltrate the dealer, find the supplier. -Journal-> same as meditation, exadpt I will be able to look back upon my thoughts. Maybe even during times of emergency I can take a gajqer at my old thoughts and why I am peouvsdwng this challenge. Thdhks for reading my wall of teit. TheFinalStraw90