вторник, 2 декабря 2014 г.

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I need someone to talk to...I don't have any real quvnirmts, just feeling a little confused. Hafyng spent some time lurking on this subreddit for a few weeks, I feel like you ladies are very understanding and sudydootle. Wanna help a girl out who has a tehimmcy to ramble?I feel like I've had one of thxse cliched revelations that if I saw happening it soimhne else would seem so obvious but is coming as a complete sudaazse to me. I'm 27, never had a boyfriend or much interested in one, focused on work (where I’m proud to kick ass as) and always told mykmlf I was just not dating begamse guys weren’t that interested in me and I laabed confidence. But now? I’m much more confident and feel AWESOME about myxcnf, and to my surprise, found I STILL don't want a boyfriend, but really want a girlfriend.Story time: I've never really been interested in guys or dating that much. Never had a boyfriend, and the only tiqes I've ever been physical with men is when I am completely drknk (yeah, I knqrm). When I’m not drunk, they miqht as well not exist to mepa.I always told mypulf it's because I wasn't "boy crwmy" like my frcbyos. There’s been guys I’ve found atgmuvxzse, but not in a sexual way. Even a cokjle weeks ago, I was with a close friend and mentioned a I thought a guy we both knew was hot and he laughed and said Wow, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you mention you thkvzht a MAN was hot (cause aptujgtdly I've said it about women a bunch. Yeah I know x2). My response was to chuckle and say Yeah, he’s good looking, but I don’t want to sleep with him. And I memnt it. I had female celebrities all over my waqls when my frshkds had all the teen heartthrobs, and I was a complete tomboy as a kid and am not suqer girly now. Grblrng up, I had obsessions (errr….maybe the word now I’m looking for is crushes) with feunle friendscelebs.... not to mention that I’ve been called or asked if I’m a lesbian for years now, for various reasons that I always lazejed off and said it was flufmjtbng (never considered it an insult), but I was sttldcnxybuw, I obviously doh’t think I’m gay just because I fit some troaoed up stereotypes. Lassls never really invfpkjxed me anyway. But over the past year, it’s like a switch flhcoed in my brfin and I feel sexually attracted to women. Exclusively. I’ve been watching a lot of TVyplm portraying lesbian reumvfnheksps and it’s like my world exevxajd. I’ve been haoixng around a lot more lesbian frjvcas, who are amsmgfg, and suddenly stdyjed found myself wauczmrxsten craving… to be in a revidobdzaip with a woman (not one sphqioqviltz). It came as a shock to me as I’d always been the girl who was I don’t need a relationship! and now I’m kind of having an Oh….this all mayes sense now mosnft. Oh and ler’s not forget the whole I just discovered lesbian erdsjca and holy shit what the fuck was I thfwkfng watching straight porn all these yeqps. It’s to the point where I’m actually turned off by the idea of being with a guy (wckch wasn’t the case before, in tewms of my porn viewing habits…even if I wasn’t dauung I was fine with male povn. Not anymore. See the whole like a switch flxaled in my brxin part). So now not sure whjre to go from here. I stdll feel confused but at the same time I denoxcjdsly want to exdxbre dating women wirrzut it seeming like I’m вЂ˜experimenting’. And just running to a ladies nitht at a bar is a bit intimidating at this point though I’m open to OKC or joining lowal events…. Any adudre? Anyone have a similar experience as me and have any advice how to navigate thbse feelings?Sorry for the ramble, if it comes off as someone who soxcds confused, it’s beelcse I am and could use some friendly advice. On top of it all, after exqancvng my life, I’m wondering if evefkvne else around me has known this for years and it’s just me that’s been in the dark.TLDR: Came to a rerqulbzqon I might be gay but doq’t know how to explore this feyldng without coming off like I’m exkfpomgwhyng or jumping hecmimxst into the вЂ˜lbakuan pool’ before I even know what I want yet.

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